


Fleeting ways

by redberries



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Incest, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 04:02:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13826064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redberries/pseuds/redberries
Summary: When everything you cared for is burned to the ground and there is little to no joy in going on, where and how do you stumble upon your resolve? When you don't know how to forgive yourself or others anymore, how will you ever get to the shore without getting strangled on the road? Emotionless, you let it all pass by you, hurt and joy alike.





	Fleeting ways

**Author's Note:**

> This is an older abandoned work of mine from fanfiction. I thought I might continue it...

He was slightly hunched over the bar, holding himself with care while he was swiping the food remains over. For it to be thoroughly cleaned, there were necessary two different types of sponge. One with a very smooth surface and an abrasive one. Once again, the tiles and the furniture had to be cleaned as the summer air was filled with dust that obstinately found its way up to the thirtieth floor just to take a peek at the sight. The refrigerator had to be disinfected too. The feeling of disgust that pondered at him after having found not long ago some moldy tomatoes hidden at the back of a drawer did not leave him alone. How could he have been so careless? It was obvious by now by the state the apartment was in that something was starting to get out of its place in his life. He needed to be more alert. Was it that his elderly habits turned him into a pissing himself old man?

On the white shelves cleanliness shone its way thru as the light fell wrapped in silence thru the window glass. He guessed that the curtains could be allowed to stay unwashed a couple more days. Or not. It was strangely exhausting and at the same time refreshing to keep such a wide space in check, even for him. Of course, it just might have to do something with the fact that he found it appropriate to clean almost everything daily. Slowly, he approached the armchair allowing himself a moment of rest. His leg had been aching for some time now.

His hair started to grow too much for his liking. A haircut. The chair at the bar was scratched. It needed to be replaced. He reached for the refrigerator to take out a cold beer to cool himself a little. Besides other drinks and bottles of water it was empty. All for the sake of enjoying the taste of fresh ingredients in his food, he restocked daily. As the cold beer started to sting the hand that had forgotten to pour it in a glass, the man realised he had been lost in thought.

Was there anything else? Anything else he had forgotten to do? He washed his face with cold water to clear his thoughts out. After that, in an uncalled moment of weakness, he rested his forehead on the mirror in front of the sink. Ah, now he had to clean it again!

What was it? Was he lonely? No. He was content with the way things were. His eyes wondered to the reflection of the nightstand and a fleeting glimpse of a faraway picture frame seemed to catch his gaze and cloud it once again. Just... It was just that on days like this cleaning always ended too soon.

As the wind brandished the curtains away in the warm silence only one thought remained unwavering. Today was going to end so slowly.

* * *

A tall man in a long brown coat came into view. Was he the one? Probably. He was just on time. She liked punctuality and its holders. Before he reached her, she looked again over the documents to check if everything was alright. The cold morning breeze brushed her bangs and in their way they tickled her lips. What a beautiful morning! All good to go! They started to look at the apartments that met the requirements. First on the list was the complex where she too had an apartment.

She glanced at him. Grisha Jaeger. She didn't know what to make of him. He had an air of importance, one that demanded respect and intimidated her a little. But in contrast to that air was his rough appearance. His hair was too long and black, uncombed, carelessly caught at the back of his head in total disregard. His eyes were passive and dull. Like they have been haunted by many sleepless nights. Though not ugly, his face wore a stern expression and was unshaven.

Straightening her gaze, she told herself that she shouldn't butt in people's lives.

"There are three free apartments in the complex at the moment. Two are on the seventh floor and one is on the thirty-first floor. We should start checking out the first two to see if either one is to your liking." she said with a charming business smile while going for the elevator. "The neighbourhood is very peaceful. It's one of the safe..."

"No, we shouldn't." She stopped dead in her tracks, perplexed by his answer. What was she supposed to say to that? When he saw that she wasn't following him anymore, he turned to look calmly at her.

"I like high places." he said with a low voice. Then he turned around to call the elevator. "It would be best to see the other one first."

How foolish and unprofessional of her. She was at a loss of words from the embarrassment. How unexpected. High places. She glanced fleetingly at his back again as he waited remaining motionless and close-lipped. His sullen state of mind was begging to depress her too.

"Of course." She knew when to keep her mouth shut. She straightened her back as she entered the elevator, bringing her head up and looking at her smiling figure in its mirror. This just wasn't a customer that appreciated blabber. She did not find it necessary to say more until they reached the flat.

"The security is very high-end, there are cameras on all the hallways to the top." she said as she pressed the digits on the interphone in front of the door. "Of course, it is almost impossible for someone to pass uninvited by the front doors with the guards that are always on watch." The door opened itself and she turned to invite him in.

"It is a two-story penthouse. This is the last floor." she said as she barefooted herself. "One of the facilities of that is that it has a grand terrace. All the shrubs that you see have been raised by the former owner. But you can easily employ someone to do it for you." she gestured toward them to make her point as she jumped to slide the glass door to the terrace open. "The floor to ceiling glass windows that separate the living room and the terrace make the space seem much larger and were custom made by the former owner. He was also the one that insisted on building the stone facade on the right wall to elegantly mask the chimney breast."

A genuine smile crossed her face as she remembered the old man that used to live here. As she spun on her tiptoes to ask for his opinion, she was dumbfounded by the expression that she found on the face of her business partner. He was lost in thought, his forehead streaked by a grimace full of pain and sorrow as he starred intensely at her feet. He did not seem to notice that she wasn't moving or saying anything anymore. She could feel her blood furiously flushing her cheeks and her lips.

What was wrong with this man? She braced herself and pinched her arm hard to tear herself from the inexplicable flow of embarrassment that was passing thru her. " Hm! Hm!" Oddly enough, she did not dare to look him in the eye. Along with embarrassment came annoyance and she wouldn't like it very much if, by chance, she threw him an unprofessional glare.

"As I was saying, the kitchen is incorporated in the living room." She hurried on the wooden staircase to lead him to the bedrooms. As she opened the door to the master bedroom, she couldn't help wishing to leave as soon as possible, to get away from his presence and the unsettling feeling he gave her. "There are three other rooms besides the living room, two bathrooms and one half bathroom. There's plenty of room for a whole family." She reached with a light step for the closed curtains. "I know you requested at least two separate bedrooms." she said not waiting to be followed by him and starting to open the wide windows. As the cold, the humidity and the blurred images of the chaotic city hit her, she leaned over the staggering gap. "For how many persons do you intent to buy an apartment? I can show you one that isn't so fanciful." she asked in a raised voice to reach out to him given that he didn't follow her.

When his answer came, she had stopped waiting for it. That's why when he said it, it sprung as from the earth, startling her. "Just two." Just two? A little bemused by his affirmation, she went back to look at the one that caused her such confusion. She found him staring into the horizon, standing in the threshold of the glass door that opened into the terrace. Her gaze dropped to his hands where a wedding ring shone on one of his long fingers.

O, he was married... Of course he was. What is wrong with her that she is so airheaded today? How could she not have noticed? What a real estate agent she was!

In the heavy silence, she lost herself examining his dark profile being lit up by the bright sun rays. His ringed eyes were searching for a ghost hidden by the railing before the city abyss. As he stood still, the wind blew his hair out of his face. His lips were very well defined but somehow spoiled by the harsh expression lines...

She flinched when he turned and caught her staring. The reverie that he had been wrapped in seemed so personal that she felt like a tactless intruder, therefore she immediately averted her gaze. Another moment of silence passed in which only her wild heartbeats could be heard. She couldn't help hoping that this place was of no interest to him. Ashamed of her unfounded wish, she lowered her head as if in a gesture of repentance.

"I'll take it."

Her head rose with a little bit more force than necessary, her mouth a little gaped as her deer-like gaze tangled in his piercing eyes.

"What?" It did not seem like his words had fully reached her. When there came no reply from him, only then his communication gained sense in her taken by surprise mind. "I haven't mentioned the price yet. The penthouse is very expensive." The words left her mouth in a troubled hurry as she started feeling like some sort of quack.

He looked at her with an unreadable expression on his face. "I have the money for it." His voice came out as demanding. "I have already decided to buy it."

Lost in her reasoning, she faltered in her response. "Y...Yes." She could feel her lips trembling under the crushing power of her stupidity. "I did not mean that you..." Once again her gaze has been dragged down and lingered on her clenched hands.

What on earth was she doing? "Of course." A wide smile forced her lips upwards as her voice came out grateful and crystal clear. "Thank you for your acquisition!" It was nothing but amazing that she succeeded in selling it so fast. Such a pretentious and expensive place might have taken her months to get rid of. Her gaze drifted to the shrubs and then back to the man in front of her, her client. Having found her resolution, she slowly closed the door to the terrace and went for her abandoned shoes.

"When do you plan to move in?" her voice asked him firmly as she was working on the clasp.

He was waiting for her while seeming slightly agitated and rushed. As she finished her doing, she felt his overwhelming stare on her.

"Tomorrow."

They walked side by side on the long corridor. As she pressed the elevator button she remembered that her mother invited her to supper tonight. She should finish the Alvarezes, the Whites and the Yoshitaka contracts by then. She glanced at her watch, analysing the information the pointers hold so duteous and mathematically moulded it on her behalf. As her mind started once again to fret over her everyday worries, she abandoned herself in details about the following clients of the day. She won't be put in such a position of embarrassment again. If it wasn't for the request of her work colleague that couldn't show up anymore, she wouldn't have been so foolishly unprepared going around in places like a drunk and dizzy goose. She had to admit that his vague description didn't help her at all. What exactly does it mean 'Enough space so that you don't have to stumble upon each other.' ? The red reflections of the elevator's changing numbers were drifting in a mechanical sequence in her dark gaze. They flickered continuously on the glassy surface of her humid and gentle eyes as they waited the arrival of their drive down.

She should buy new shoes. Ones that go with the black dress she recently bought. And with the silver, starlike earrings. She raised her hand languorously to put a strand of hair away by her ear. As the fuzzy images of the apartments she was going to see today run thru her mind in a calming daze, she struggled to find a trivial topic of conversation but none landed on her closed lips. Despite this, she was strangely calm, purposely and skilfully putting everything that had made her uncomfortable aside in a corner of her mind, so hidden and far away that it was almost forgotten.

The elevator stopped to greet another inhabitant. This was the thirtieth floor. On this side of the building, choosing this elevator, there could only be a handful of possible options. She just really hoped it wasn't him. As the doors opened and then closed, she didn't raise her gaze to look at the one who had just come in. There was no need to. She recognised him solely after the sound of his footsteps. Not wanting to accidently meet his sharp eyes, she ignored his presence as he ignored hers.

It has always been a trial for her whenever she met him. She's been told to ignore him and most of the time that's what she did. But she couldn't keep the feelings of guilt caged within her whenever she landed eyes on his biting stare. There was nothing that she could change about the past. And the past was unforgiving, with the ruthless, pitiless and unfounded, blinded by undiluted venom decisions, and with him too.

If possible, she would have wanted to apologise. Even though she didn't have a say in his fate, she was partly responsible, being an Ackerman . She wasn't able to say if them living right next to each other was a humourless, ironic coincidence or something premeditated, but they have been living like this for the last two years and nothing has happened in the meantime excepting the scandal that broke out on his first week staying here. If he had been looking for revenge, he would have done it a long time ago.

The way she saw things, Levi-san was too mature to act rash. He was almost kind. Maybe if she had been in his shoes, she would have strangled herself upon sight.

Trim and neat as always, he stood straight, his shoulders relaxed, surrounded by unbreakable order and self-induced discipline. He was going outside later than his usual routine. Every day, at seven o'clock sharp, after going for a run, he went for grocery shopping. Besides that he rarely left his place.

A torn smile crippled her lips. What awful company she had. Her beautiful eyes rested on his black, short hair and expressionless profile. He looked so strong in his loneliness. She punished her lips with a sharp bite of pain to let out a bit of her unsettling feelings. She really shouldn't say it. And yet, she opened her swollen mouth to sprout out the next shivering words:

"Good day, Levi-san!"

Taken by surprise, he turned to look at her and ended up staring for a long time with a slightly curious gaze into the stony silence. Then he tore his eyes from her without saying a single word. Well, that much was obvious, wasn't it? She felt so ashamed. In spite of that, she couldn't help thinking that this was the best thing to do.

When they arrived downstairs, the short haired man went in the hallway with calculated steps and, while arranging his collar, stopped for a brief moment to turn his head in a kind of greeting and let out only two words.

"Good indeed."

Then he left to attend his business, leaving behind the young beautiful woman astounded, so stone-still that the doors almost closed without her coming out. She felt the urge to call out to his departing shadow. But for what purpose?

"A prosthetic leg."

His hoarse voice startled her. "What?" She looked at the unkempt person in front of her with a look of confusion on her face. He was staring directly at her. But his stare passed by her as if she wasn't even there.

"He was wearing a prosthetic leg." She was looking at him like he was nuts. "I am a doctor." He started going for the door. "It just caught my eye."

Having caught up to him, she replied benevolently. "He is a resident of this complex. He lives right beneath the penthouse." Her voice softened as a sad light nurtured her frowning brows. "He's a retired war soldier. Lost his leg five years ago." As she said so she touched slightly her own leg and her hand softly rested on it.

The metropolis' distasteful noise hit her with brutality in the face and assaulted her ears, making her long for the shelter of some insulating windows. She could wait a little bit more. Weirdly enthusiastic about his unexpected reply, once again, she forgot to properly tend to her male client. But she quickly regained her composure.

"Do you want to go over the details of the contract today, or should we leave it for tomorrow?" she asked while browsing the necessary paperwork and carried his compelling stare on her.

He made a gesture of leaving. "You can send them to me. There's no need to meet up." His lips were straight and unquestionable. "Also, the shrubs will be taken care of; you don't have to call anyone to do it for us." There was something unidentifiable in his voice as he said so.

More or less happy that she finished a part of her job, she smiled warmly at him. "Thank you once again, Mr Jaeger! It would be a pleasure seeing you from now on." Well, at least she hoped it would not end too badly or be too cumbersome.

Upon receiving his somewhat odd look, she realised she hasn't told him yet that they would be neighbours. "I live right next door to the penthouse you have just bought."

A deep frown crossed his face on hearing the news. A little flustered by his obvious negative reaction, she tormented herself with questions regarding his hostile behaviour and the reasons she unintentionally might have given him to act like that. Only two syllables left his mouth as a dull response to her courtesy.

"I see."

Afterwards, he turned to leave, letting her puzzled and almost angry. What a rude man! If he hadn't been so odd from the start, she might have actually been more upset. But like this, overthrown by his weird grief, he was almost pitiable even with all his asperity.

"Ah!" The sound came out wrapped in monotony, vibrating deeply and low in his throat. Surprised by the sudden word, she found him swivelled to her, maybe for the first time since their encounter looking directly in her eyes. There was such corrosion in them as if his body continued to go on but his soul was too exhausted to do more than it did till now. "I forgot to tell you." A somewhat gentle look softened his features making him seem more humanlike than before, giving a shred of warmth to his frozen demeanour. "Thank you for showing it to me, miss."

Something about it seemed terribly lonely to her, fake and truthful at the same time. Like he, a grown up man in his forties, remembered his mother's scolding to be polite. It made her think he might not be as bad of a person as he came across. Why was she so shallow and judged people only after their appearance? The many counterexamples in her own life should have taught her better. Not that he was ugly. The thought made her lower her lashes and look at the ground before her feet.

"You...You're welcome! Thank you for choosing us!" Taken aback by his sudden kindness she stammered out her reply timidly. She forgot wearing her ever-ready business beam. Only a tender and tiny smile warmed up her cheeks.

He bowed mechanically while his eyes left her and went away on his road without another word. A cold breeze blew by her and flapped his coat. Then he was lost.

In the bright sun, the young woman looked at the passing cars as they run mad and rushed on the grey road while wandering what was the story behind this mysterious man that was her client. Was he always like this? What was his relationship with his wife? What kind of a person was she to fall in love with such a grim man? She embraced herself.

Taking a break in the middle of the road, she wandered what time it was while inappropriately staring into space without actually checking her wristwatch. He was just a stranger. And as she went by foot to her next destination, was splashed by a speeding passing car, childishly cursed and swore the driver purely out of inertia, without meaning any actual harm or holding any speck of true grudge, while wet and muddy, just for a moment, her gaze turned around to linger in the direction he was lost to. Then, in the day's bustle, she forgot him completely as she was caught up in her life's endless problems that didn't find it considerate to leave her all alone. And the memory of their morning meeting was thrown in the back of her mind among many other, possibly significant, possibly not, memories.

And as she wandered if she should buy her mother a present, having not seen her for such a long period of time, instead of envisioning the expensive endowment that would make her happy and glittery, all that she was able to see was Levi-san's face with a scornful look plastered on it. It was directed at her, an unforgiving stare that demanded justification.


End file.
